How can my “what if?”
both
build worlds
and
tear down my own?
How can one wondering
either
be an act of creation
or
be a relapse into destruction?
The “what if?” of creation is
wonder
newness
imagination.
The “what if?” of destruction is
anxiety
ruminations
worst-case scenarios.
Could it be that each “what if?” holds either
Life
or
Death,
and I hold the responsibility to choose?
Will I forget and let the choice between
creating newness
or
twisting goodness
be made for me?
Or worse,
will I remember but not be brave enough?
How startling that the same voice that can say
“What if he leaves me?”
is the same one that says
“What if we move the camera this way?”
“What if they enter from that side?”
“What if the intention is more hopeful?”
What if hopeful intention
is the same thing as
remembering to choose?
What if I made sure to be awake enough each day
to choose my “what if”?
I will,
I must,
I hope.
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