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Writer's pictureGrace Copeland

For The Anxious Artist



How can my “what if?”

both

build worlds

and

tear down my own?


How can one wondering

either 

be an act of creation

or

be a relapse into destruction?


The “what if?” of creation is

wonder

newness

imagination. 


The “what if?” of destruction is

anxiety

ruminations

worst-case scenarios.


Could it be that each “what if?” holds either

Life

or

Death,

and I hold the responsibility to choose?


Will I forget and let the choice between

creating newness

or

twisting goodness

be made for me?

Or worse,

will I remember but not be brave enough?


How startling that the same voice that can say

“What if he leaves me?”

is the same one that says

“What if we move the camera this way?”

“What if they enter from that side?”

“What if the intention is more hopeful?”


What if hopeful intention

is the same thing as

remembering to choose?


What if I made sure to be awake enough each day

to choose my “what if”?


I will,

I must,

I hope.





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